Dear 14 year old me,
I’m probably here wasting my energy writing this letter to you now, because it’ll never get read.
This will probably be screwed up in your blazer pocket or you’ll be too busy out in the park flexing your new tracksuit, with some WKD’s and music blasting out of your blackberry.
If you are bothering to read this ‘boring’ letter take that tracksuit off, remove the foundation from your lips and actually wear something nice. Get yourself a glass of water, some salt and vinegar crisps and actually LISTEN to what I’m saying.
Firstly; take time to appreciate how lucky and privileged you are, and say thank you to mum for everything you’ve got. Those long trips to Barbados won’t last forever – soon you’ll be working every hour and saving every penny to just get out there to see your old life. So stop moaning to mum about missing out on things happening in England, you’re living the life right now and you have a pool in your garden you spoilt little shit!
School; please pay more attention in class, it’s not always good to be the class clown you are cleverer than you think and you need to start realising that. Making teachers angry and upset isn’t an achievement and having 3 separate reports hanging out your pocket doesn’t make you cool – no matter what you think right now.
On another note about school, do you not just want an extra hour in bed? That fake tan you applied last night, does NOT need another layer at 7am, you’re starting to look like Georgia from Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. The boy in your science class doesn’t think you look ‘cute’ because you’ve applied foundation to your lips, rolled your skirt 4 times and coated your mascara 17 times already this morning. Give up Hun, and appreciate the lie-ins.
You know the sport you dedicate your life too right now? When your 19 you’ll give that up. I’m telling you now, never ever give hockey up, you hear me?! Your fitness is currently at the highest it’ll be and when your 23 and weighing 3 stone heavier you’ll be kicking yourself for giving up that sport.
You’ve already met one of your best friends. The one you learnt to swim with, she’ll come to Barbados with you too!
But can you believe in 2 years’ time she’ll give birth to a baby girl! No? Well neither could we!
But she does, and she’s the best mum ever so don’t panic! She’s still with the dad, and they’ve continued to have another baby too. (So tell her to make sure she gets kicked out of the club at 16 because that’s where she’ll meet him!)
By the time you are 23 you’ll have had your heart broke twice. Don’t worry though – the pain is easier the second time. Your mum will take you to the Trafford centre and buy you some nice clothes though to help ‘mend’ that little heart – so there’s a bonus.
Told you she was nice!
You also have your own god damn house! What!? Just like you always dreamed, you are now Miss Independent and stress about bills and your TV license, did you even know that was a thing?
You won’t end up going to university, but I guess you know already that education really isn’t for you, is it? You work a full time job, and also work self-employed on the side, but don’t worry you still have a social life with the best group of girls.
You’re happy, you’re loved and you have the best friends in the world, and you no longer wear tracksuits so there’s another bonus!
So good luck and hold on tight because you’re in for a bumpy ride!