The art of Ghosting

‘The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication’.

So if you read my tinder blog, you may have got the jist that dating life just doesn’t serve me well. I am quick to judge, quick to hate, and especially quick to ghost. As an expert of ghosting I thought I’d teach my skills to those not as skilled.

DON’T OPEN YOUR BIG MOUTH

Unless you think something could progress with this guy, don’t tell anyone. Don’t be sending his pictures in the group chat, or going on nights out with your friends / his friends. This is just more people you’ll have to get to block him when your over and done with it all, and more ways he can contact you through.

BE A BLUNT ASS BITCH

Do I need to explain this in detail? A quick ‘fuck off’ works a treat!

BUSY BUSY BUSY

Does this guy REALLY need to know details of you watching the Kissing Booth for the 6th time in a row? With a tub of Ben and Jerrys? No, he does not.

To him you are busy, you are a social butterfly, and you have NO time for him.

Not now, not ever.

BLOCK

If you have them on ANY social media, BLOCK. WhatsApp, BLOCK. Phone number, BLOCK. Any way you can, BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK. Preferably do this without even telling them. An out of the blue quick block may dupe them into thinking you’ve been abducted, but it’ll work. Trust me.

DON’T TEXT BACK

Easier said than done’ – say some of my friends. Fortunately, I don’t find it hard ignoring messages, phone calls, snapchats or Facebook messages. No matter how many I receive, if I am bored of conversation, or you’ve pissed me off to high heavens, I’m not texting back any time soon. (Maybe a takeaway delivered to my door would work).

FEEL BAD? NA

Why would you feel bad? Unless you’ve walked down the aisle on the Monday and your ghosting him by Thursday you have NO need to feel bad. Drink that bottle of wine, but DON’T send the drunk apology text! DON’T DO IT, I’m warning you it’s a bad move.

I hope this will help, ghosting is an easy art once you know the ways how.

Surprisingly, I’ve been through this a lot. My block list is longer than the titanic.

Good luck, have fun. And get blocking.

Lizi xx